"Every Day, every hour, this very minute perhaps, dark forces attempt to penetrate this castle’s walls; but in the end, their greatest weapon is you."

I love when Dumbledore says this in Harry Potter 6. So true. It speaks for itself.

I Miss My Music

My poor neglected cello. It was such a part of my life from the moment I began playing - it was love at first pluck. Now, I struggle with priorities and put cleaning, work, cooking, etc. above practicing my cello. The practical things in life have a put a road block between me and my cello. It was my tool of expression - love, hate, sadness, joy, determination, remorse ... I flooded my emotions into my cello everyday as I played.

My dad loved to tell the story of when I first began to play. I chose the cello for my mother (that's another story). My dad thought he knew what he was getting into - the usual - play for little while and then I'd get bored and want to move onto something else ... so he made me sign a contract he wrote saying I would practice at least 30 min. 5 days a week. I was quite the opposite. Like I said, It was love at first pluck. I was practicing 3 hours a day at the minimum ... some Saturdays I would play all day - 8 or 10 hours straight. I loved it and I was determined to become a great cellist. My poor dad ... I was so bad and still trying to train my ear ... he was wishing I would have signed a contract saying I wouldn't practice more than 3 hours a day ... he was so patient though.

It was my passion from the start.

He hasn't been played for months and then months before that. I'm slowly losing my ability and form ... it's so depressing. Last time I played ... it was wonderous, however, the next morning when I went to get out bed - it didn't quite work. To say the least - it had pretty much thrown out my back and I could barely move and resulted in me bursting into tears for quite some time. And there's my fear when I dream of picking up my cello to play again. But oh how much I miss it. I miss orchestra - Bloch, Mendellson, Brahms, movie and play scores, and so much more.

The classical station has become my suffice. It is the only thing I will listen to now on my way to work and home and pretty much anywhere if I'm the only one in the car. It's my dosage of classical and cello but still not the same. I haven't lost my passion, but life has gotten in the way.

And so ... at the moment ... he stands and looks at me with longing to be played more. Looks more as a decoration rather than my expressionistic instrument. And most recently ... our photography practice with our new camera.

Here is Carmello:

2009 Highlights Recap

In no apparent order:

1st time we spent the whole year (Jan - Dec) as a married couple

I was promoted to Accounting Supervisor at work at the beg of the year

Our 1 year anniversary (a week in San Diego)

Bought a car in August - Hyundai Sonata '07

Became primary teachers

Matt had a great football season

Amazing game against Oklahoma in the Dallas, Texas super-stadium

Another year at the Vegas Bowl

Our first camping trips together

Learned to make bread ... now it's the only bread we eat

Portable dishwasher

Vegas Christmas

Santa brought us a new computer

Matt worked at EEI with me in the summer

One of my best friend's wedding

Trip to St. George and Zion's

Golfing - our new hobby

Bought our scooter - that currently has a flat tire

School, school, and more school

Many trips to Ikea

I still haven't finished all the posts from last year. May 2010 bring many more fun adventures and stories.

I wish I may

I wish I might

Have a crystal ball in my possession tonight

Life and its choices. My life feels like a big fat huge ?

If only I had a crystal ball - I could see to my future and see what we're supposed to be doing now with our lives and what's the right choice and how to go about this and that and that too and everything else that seems to have been shaken around in a yahtzee roller cup.

Christmas

I wish we didn't have to come home back to reality. We had a great time. We drove down to Vegas on Friday the 18th and didn't come back till Saturday the 26th.

A lot of what we did up until the Bowl game was determined by the schedule laid out for the team and bowl. Matt/the team practiced every morning and we usually had some bowl activity to go to that afternoon. I managed to forget my camera so I don't exactly have any pics of our adventures ... I'm still kinda mad at myself for it.

Here's the highlights of our week:

We stayed at Planet Hollywood - very nice, big rooms

Saturday night we went to PHANTOM OF THE OPERA instead of going to Terry Fator with the rest of the team. It was amazing! Soooo good - highly recommend it.

Almost all of our food was paid for and we went to a couple buffets so we ate A LOT of food.

Sunday night we went to the 'Outback Buffet Bowl' at Fremont Street ... that was interesting. 'Candy and the Canes' entertained us and we pretty much ate food and then left. We got to pick our bowl gifts using a point system thing - we got an HD Sony Camcorder and a Sony point-and-shoot digital camera. We're excited for them.

That night we got to go over to my sister's and visit with her and my bro ... so fun.

Monday - we had the 'Kickoff Luncheon' ... we were supposed to eat while the program was going on but our table managed to get overlooked and we ended up eating as fast as we could while people were standing up to leave ... it was good food though.

Matt and the rest of the traveling team left to stay at the JW Marriott for the night and prepare for the game. The wives came over to the hotel for the Senior Tribute ... Matt and his group were pretty funny.

Tuesday - GAME DAY

I went shopping and relaxed in the room. The game was awesome ... freezing but awesome. Matt played awesome - he's had a GREAT SEASON. It's still weird to me that it's over for the year. Matt's parents came down for the game and Heather and Billy came as well. Heather took some great pictures at the game - I haven't gotten them from her yet so those are to come later.

Wednesday - ate crepes at Paris. Visited the Tigers, Lions, and Dolphins at The Mirage - saw 5 month old white tigers ... soo adorable. I wish I could have a tiger for a pet. Went to Aunt Dawn's for a family dinner - it was so fun to be with family and spend time with that side of my family. Here's some pictures Dawn took:

The girls: me, Alyssa Eubanks, Aunt Dawn, Heather, her kids (Pammie & Will) Grandma Douglas

Christmas Eve - we went to my mom's gravestone. It's been a few years since I've been there - it was special and definitely sobering for me and that I could share it with Matt. We had a family dinner at Heather's with Jimmy and Michael.

Christmas - we woke up bright and early so we could go see Heather's kids open their presents and see what Santa had brought them. Always funny with her kids. Keller: "Pancakes! Yes!" as he grabs the box and hugs it and starts walking around with it. Then off to Grandma and Grandpa Alger's for traditional waffle breakfast with all the extended fam. We played games and visited with the fam - it was a lot of fun and I was so happy that I got to share with Matt what Christmas was like for me growing up. We had dinner at the Worthen's - Billy's parents.

We left the next morning as soon as we got everything packed .... once back in Provo ...

We went to my parent's house that night - first meeting them for dinner at Applebee's. We had an extended Christmas celebration there.

After church on Sunday we headed up to Matt's parent's house and continued Christmas to that evening. We came back to our apartment with tons of stuff. Thank you so much to everyone! It was so much fun being able to take a break from school and work and spend the time together and with our families. We really had a blast. I kinda rambled off a little bit but oh well. Now it's on to the New Year.

HAPPY NEW YEARS!!! A new year ... new adventures.

Happy Birthday Mom

To an amazing woman ... who made everyone smile and laugh and lit up the room when she walked in. I miss you desperately.

Matt and I visited her gravestone Christmas Eve morning while in Vegas - it was Matt's first time being there. So many memories flooded back.

I wish I could have a 2 way conversation with you. I wish I had a moment that I could have stopped and cried and pondered and watched home videos ... maybe it's better that I didn't. I wish I could hear your opinion (out loud ... not just through your writings). I wish you and Matt could meet face to face. I wish I could see you play with our kids someday - your grandchildren. And the list goes on ...

I know you're watching over me and I guess that has to be good enough. You got to spend your birthday with your mom and dad though ... hope you had a great day wherever you are. I love you, happy birthday.

Christmas Bowl

We're back home .... we've spent the last week in Las Vegas for the bowl game and then celebrating Christmas with my side of the family. All sorts of fun and relaxation and enjoying each other's company. It's been an awesome week...I wish it didn't have to end.

I've got lots more to come about our adventures .... unfortunately not a lot of pics cause I managed to forget my camera but I'll have a few from my sis and aunt as soon as I can get them from em.

Merry Merry Christmas!!