This past weekend:
Friday - Matt surprised me by taking me to 'He's Just Not That Into You.' (He could tell that I had wanted to go and so went and bought the tickets and wouldn't tell me what we were going to). We also went to the Rocky Mountain Chocolate Factory and got a yummy caramel apple to share.
Saturday - was a day of dancing. My sis, Cassie, had the Miss Drill Utah Competition and Matt was such a good sport. We went in the morning for the preliminaries to make sure we got to see her solo. Afterwards, we had a little insight that let us know she was going to be in the top 10 and would be performing that night. So...rather than going home and watching one of Matt's friends boxing match, he willingly stayed to support Cass. We went shopping around the area in between the prelims and final competition. It was the longest dance competition I have EVER been to. They combined 3 competitions into 1. It started at 6 and we didn't get home until 12:30 that night. And Matt sat through it all. Cassie did wonderfully-she did awesome!
Pretty sure we get the best supporting award for that night. It was all good fun though!
Love you Matt!
Monday, February 9, 2009
Heartache
I had a realization about the time Matt and I got engaged and every so often it comes around again. I've been able to look back on my mom's passing and see the blessings and strengths that I have received from it happening. I've been content in recognizing how much it has shaped it me to become me and the things that I learned from its occurence. I had only ever thought of it as how it had affected me, and only me.
However, the fact that Matt as well as our kids not having the opportunity of knowing my mom has just broken my heart. Although I was only 9 when she passed away, she was a huge part in shaping who I am now as well as all those years of my childhood. I think that Matt would totally get along with her and they would be good friends if she were still here. And our kids, not being able to grow up knowing their real grandma. I know she'll get to know them from wherever she is but I sure wish they could get to know her too. Matt's comment to my sadness today was, 'but this way we'll get to know the perfect Pam, we'll never see her anything but her best.'
I know she's watching over us all and she'll be the best guardian angel to our children. It just hurts my heart that they'll only be able to feel her spirit near them and not be able to sit in her lap or laugh along with her. Some days are just harder than others I suppose. Matt does a good job at making me happy again though.
However, the fact that Matt as well as our kids not having the opportunity of knowing my mom has just broken my heart. Although I was only 9 when she passed away, she was a huge part in shaping who I am now as well as all those years of my childhood. I think that Matt would totally get along with her and they would be good friends if she were still here. And our kids, not being able to grow up knowing their real grandma. I know she'll get to know them from wherever she is but I sure wish they could get to know her too. Matt's comment to my sadness today was, 'but this way we'll get to know the perfect Pam, we'll never see her anything but her best.'
I know she's watching over us all and she'll be the best guardian angel to our children. It just hurts my heart that they'll only be able to feel her spirit near them and not be able to sit in her lap or laugh along with her. Some days are just harder than others I suppose. Matt does a good job at making me happy again though.
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