My poor neglected cello. It was such a part of my life from the moment I began playing - it was love at first pluck. Now, I struggle with priorities and put cleaning, work, cooking, etc. above practicing my cello. The practical things in life have a put a road block between me and my cello. It was my tool of expression - love, hate, sadness, joy, determination, remorse ... I flooded my emotions into my cello everyday as I played.
My dad loved to tell the story of when I first began to play. I chose the cello for my mother (that's another story). My dad thought he knew what he was getting into - the usual - play for little while and then I'd get bored and want to move onto something else ... so he made me sign a contract he wrote saying I would practice at least 30 min. 5 days a week. I was quite the opposite. Like I said, It was love at first pluck. I was practicing 3 hours a day at the minimum ... some Saturdays I would play all day - 8 or 10 hours straight. I loved it and I was determined to become a great cellist. My poor dad ... I was so bad and still trying to train my ear ... he was wishing I would have signed a contract saying I wouldn't practice more than 3 hours a day ... he was so patient though.
It was my passion from the start.
He hasn't been played for months and then months before that. I'm slowly losing my ability and form ... it's so depressing. Last time I played ... it was wonderous, however, the next morning when I went to get out bed - it didn't quite work. To say the least - it had pretty much thrown out my back and I could barely move and resulted in me bursting into tears for quite some time. And there's my fear when I dream of picking up my cello to play again. But oh how much I miss it. I miss orchestra - Bloch, Mendellson, Brahms, movie and play scores, and so much more.
The classical station has become my suffice. It is the only thing I will listen to now on my way to work and home and pretty much anywhere if I'm the only one in the car. It's my dosage of classical and cello but still not the same. I haven't lost my passion, but life has gotten in the way.
And so ... at the moment ... he stands and looks at me with longing to be played more. Looks more as a decoration rather than my expressionistic instrument. And most recently ... our photography practice with our new camera.
Here is Carmello:
1 comment:
Look at you and your fancy pictures!
I'm sorry about your music. I know it's nothing the same but I was actually banned from playing the piano for several months of my pregnancy with Keller. It was causing too many early contractions. It was 4 months at least. And it's the same relationship with playing and expressing emotions. Have you watched "The Soloist" yet?
I have a friend whose dad has had some bad back problems and another friend who herself has had some bad stuff. She's Jimmy's age and having back surgery next month. Anyway, I guess there is some pretty big wig people here if you're ever interested in getting other opinions. Are there any Massage Envy places up there? I wonder if a monthly massage would help enough to at least leave it bearable. Just a thought anyway. Otherwise all I've got for you is maybe taking up painting (since then you can set it up on an easel and not have to bend over) and listening to classical music while you paint. Just paint your feelings- nothing in particular. Quite therapeutic.
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