To an amazing woman ... who made everyone smile and laugh and lit up the room when she walked in. I miss you desperately.
Matt and I visited her gravestone Christmas Eve morning while in Vegas - it was Matt's first time being there. So many memories flooded back.
I wish I could have a 2 way conversation with you. I wish I had a moment that I could have stopped and cried and pondered and watched home videos ... maybe it's better that I didn't. I wish I could hear your opinion (out loud ... not just through your writings). I wish you and Matt could meet face to face. I wish I could see you play with our kids someday - your grandchildren. And the list goes on ...
I know you're watching over me and I guess that has to be good enough. You got to spend your birthday with your mom and dad though ... hope you had a great day wherever you are. I love you, happy birthday.
3 comments:
I look up to your strength jill. Thanks for reminding me to appreciate my mother. xo
That's the perfect picture.
Yah, I love that picture. ;)
I know you wish mom could meet Matt and I know I can't relate to that. But I do think she knows him. She told me once that a mom just 'knows' when that person is that special someone for their kid. She had that feeling for you about Matt, no doubt, no matter which side of the veil she was on and I'm sure she hangs out and gets to know him. When I get my video program figured out then I will send you a copy of the home videos that I have. Dad still has most though
Did you ever read all of Motherless Daughters? You should reread it if it's been a while. You are at a different stage in your life and I really think it would help. There's this part that I remember saying something about the healing that comes when you have a daughter of your own because it's like that bond is reestablished to some extent. It's so true. I think having my kids makes me sad to not have mom around (especially since some of my favorite childhood memories are with mom and grandma but my kids won't get that) but in this weird way it really does make me feel like I have a part of her back- and that's awesome. One day you'll know what I mean and I can't wait for it.
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