These last couple months have had themes reoccurring throughout my everyday life ... looking forward with faith, strengthening faith, and tithing. God is trying to teach me. I can almost feel that I'm not fully grasping what it is that he's trying to get into my head and soul but I am learning, slowly.
A few months ago is when I started to notice this trend of themes. It was like every week at church was either faith or tithing centered and it was all directed at me. It had been a few months since we had paid our tithing cause I kept forgetting and so we owed quite a lot of money to get us back to being full-tithe payers. It was weird how we had duplicate lessons in different wards about paying tithing and it's blessings. After a couple weeks, Matt and I felt like we needed to pay our tithing immediately. And so we did. And the Lord blessed us ... with things pertaining to buying our house that I don't think would have happened if we didn't pay our tithing. And the funny thing is, that since we wrote that check, we haven't heard a thing or lesson or talk or whatnot about tithing ... God was nudging us to do it so he could give us those blessings that we needed and once we listened, He moved on to nudging me in another direction.
And then faith. I kept hearing things about faith - lessons, talks, ensign, stories, etc. After a couple weeks, I had the feeling I needed to strengthen my faith and God was trying to prepare me for something coming my way. Well, I can't say that I immediately was totally strengthened and then when the trials came I was just peachy and everything was good and ok. Things have been hard. And a lot harder emotionally than I ever anticipated. I've been really tested these last couple months, and I still am being tested.
The lessons on faith keep coming and every time they do, they nudge to me to keep going and push forward and remember that things really aren't that bad. And the biggest thing of all is that it's not my plan for our life, it's God's. I can't be in total control of my life, God is the one in control. And as such, I need to put all my faith in him that things will work out ok and everything will be for our good and that He's watching out for Matt and I. I know He is. I think this will be one of those times in our lives that we will look back on and see just how much we grew and what we learned and how it made us better people.
I don't know where Matt and I will be a year from now. We don't know what life has in store for us. NFL, Radiology, More school, Utah, Not Utah, Optometry, Kids, No kids, etc? We're looking out to a future of the unknown. I just need to have faith that what's supposed to happen is what will happen. I encourage anyone to read this talk by Russell M. Nelson, Face the Future with Faith. It's been one that has really stuck out to me. I've had 2 lessons on it and read it on my own a couple times. There's a lot of things in this talk that I really needed to hear these last couple months.
"If we pray with an eternal perspective, we need not wonder if our most tearful and heartfelt pleadings are heard."
"Strength comes when you remember that you have a divine nature, an inheritance of infinite worth. The Lord has reminded you, your children, and your grandchildren that you are lawful heirs, that you have been reserved in heaven for your specific time and place to be born, to grow and become His standard bearers and covenant people. As you walk in the Lord’s path of righteousness, you will be blessed to continue in His goodness and be a light and a savior unto His people."
"President Monson continued: 'My beloved brothers and sisters, fear not. Be of good cheer. The future is as bright as your faith.'"
I'm still learning. Things will work out and Heavenly Father is strengthening me everyday and is continually blessing me with tender mercies. I'm trying to look forward to the future with faith and trust in God.
